They who drink beer will think beer.

Beer is the world’s most widely consumed alcoholic beverage. It is the third most popular drink overall.. after water and tea.

However.. I have a theory. It is as follows:

No guy actually likes beer.

It is so unbelievably vile, and I refuse to believe that it can genuinely be enjoyed by anyone.

Here’s how it goes in society:

Young guys go to the pub and drink beer to feel older, and more grown up. They have their first beer, and are shocked at the horrific taste. But they are being older and grown up, they have to finish it. It would be socially unacceptable not to. They force themselves to down it, and as the alcohol works its magic they find themselves ordering another. They feel manly, and part of the crowd. It’s just about worth it.

Older and more grown up guys still go to the pub and still drink beer, but now they do it to feel young again. It’s a habit now. Their taste buds are mostly dead. It doesn’t taste so bad now. They sit with their pub friends and reminisce about old times. Beer has been there for them through it all.

All men, no matter which of the above category they fit, drink beer and hate it. True, they become more tolerant of it, and it eventually doesn’t make them want to chuck up their insides as much as it used to, but perhaps that’s because the alcohol tolerance has gone up too.

Their fathers drunk beer, and so did their fathers’ fathers, and fathers’ fathers’ fathers.. And so they will influence their sons to drink beer. It’s part of life.

And to all you who still think you like beer. You don’t. You have simply been brainwashed from an early age into forcing yourself into thinking it tastes nice. Maybe you didn’t even realise at the time, but if you really think back to your first beer, let’s be honest.. you hated it.

:)

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