They who drink beer will think beer.

Beer is the world’s most widely consumed alcoholic beverage. It is the third most popular drink overall.. after water and tea.

However.. I have a theory. It is as follows:

No guy actually likes beer.

It is so unbelievably vile, and I refuse to believe that it can genuinely be enjoyed by anyone.

Here’s how it goes in society:

  • Young guys go to the pub and drink beer to feel older, and more grown up. They have their first beer, and are shocked at the horrific taste. But they are being older and grown up, they have to finish it. It would be socially unacceptable not to. They force themselves to down it, and as the alcohol works its magic they find themselves ordering another. They feel manly, and part of the crowd. It’s just about worth it.
  • Older and more grown up guys still go to the pub and still drink beer, but now they do it to feel young again. It’s a habit now. Their taste buds are mostly dead. It doesn’t taste so bad now. They sit with their pub friends and reminisce about old times. Beer has been there for them through it all.
  • All men, no matter which of the above category they fit, drink beer and hate it. True, they become more tolerant of it, and it eventually doesn’t make them want to chuck up their insides as much as it used to, but perhaps that’s because the alcohol tolerance has gone up too.

    Their fathers drunk beer, and so did their fathers’ fathers, and fathers’ fathers’ fathers.. And so they will influence their sons to drink beer. It’s part of life.

    And to all you who still think you like beer. You don’t. You have simply been brainwashed from an early age into forcing yourself into thinking it tastes nice. Maybe you didn’t even realise at the time, but if you really think back to your first beer, let’s be honest.. you hated it.


    7 Comments (+add yours?)

    1. John S
      Jan 16, 2012 @ 00:10:16

      Next post – how men really hate football too? Know you are having a laugh, but first taste, yes, not so good. But all kids are the same. You need to try the finest pint of London Pride from the Mawson Arms in Chiswick, next to the brewery: or a Belgian Duvel – 8.5% alcohol and a thing of wonder. And then you might understand!


      • TLS
        Jan 16, 2012 @ 13:23:07

        Haha! Nope, men sure do love their football, no questions asked.
        Maybe it’s just that I cannot fathom how anyone can enjoy something which tastes so unbelievably horrid! I will write down your suggested beers and try them at some point.. (Chiswick being 2 and a half hours away from me, I’ll have to wait til next time I’m in London!) And you never know, perhaps I will understand..


    2. John S
      Jan 17, 2012 @ 00:34:41

      If you have a Waitrose where you live, they are there and so many others. Old Hooky, Doombar, real local produce. But they are an acquired taste I admit. So you are right in principle – it is something to be learned, or spurned. And the world we live in encourages boys to do so and not so much girls. But once you are hooked… it is almost as good as wine. Another subject!


      • TLS
        Jan 17, 2012 @ 19:33:48

        I will do, although I can pretty much guarantee I’ll hate it, haha.
        :O John you insult the name of wine! Shame on you!


    3. zorgor
      Jan 18, 2012 @ 03:49:10

      Yeah, I never liked beer. Always liked cocktails much more. I think you’re right for, oh, 85, maybe 95% of cases. The remaining are the few guys I’ve met who really are connoisseurs of beer; seeking out exotic (well, they’re exotic here) European beers. Maybe they do it to impress people, kind of like wine connoisseurs only a little more ‘regular guy’. But then there are those who make beer. I can think of nothing else but that they really must love it.


      • TLS
        Jan 18, 2012 @ 21:12:44

        Yessss zorgor, cocktails always win.
        Oh, those pesky beer connoisseurs, trying to turn it into an art.. :’)
        Perhaps the beer makers do like beer.. Or perhaps they simply like the money that it brings in! ;)


    4. Zoe
      Jan 21, 2012 @ 01:54:04

      Beer is vile but I love lager! Oooh what I wouldnt give for a nice cold pint right now I’m such a loser its friday but I haven’t had one drink lol.
      The first time I tried lager it was disgusting but in all fairness I was 14 at the time but now it’s the main thing I drink when I’m out & I do like the taste although some are nicer than others. But beer tastes awfull & reminds me of old men lol


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