“Long live living, if living can be this..”

“Did you ever see a man
who did walk down the street,
white robe with no shoes on his feet,
and on top of his head placed a box with two slits,
and the sign from his neck said ‘I do not exist’.”

– lyrics from Miserere by The Cat Empire.

Yes, at first glance this song seems unnecessarily depressing.

But this one song is a very quiet and moving song, and it is truly beautiful. It really struck a chord with me first time I heard it a few years ago.

The man in the lyrics could be lots of things. For some, he is simply a man hiding from society, escaping into his own world. For others, he could be that one guy who you see every day, but who you never notice. That one guy who needs to be recognised. He could be a metaphor for God. He could be all of us, walking in our dark circles, hiding our true identity from the world, from ourselves.

Anyway, I did this on Paddy the iPad yesterday. I realise there’s no white robe, and he’s wearing shoes.. But it seemed more fitting for me to put him in jeans and a jumper.

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This song is so different from the rest of their music – The Cat Empire are a really upbeat, feel-good band from Australia – and they happen to be the only band I’ve seen live. (Big fan of them.) But this is pretty much their only quiet song, and totally different to the rest of their stuff – especially with the angelic voice Felix’s younger brother making an appearance – makes a completely new sound for them.

Most of you won’t have heard of The Cat Empire, they’re not incredibly well known, but if you like happy fusions of lively music and fantastic lyrics sung with sizzling Australian accents.. then The Cat Empire might be for you!

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Bella Luna..

“Mystery the moon
A hole in the sky
A supernatural nightlight
So full but often right”

Drew this on Patrick the iPad yesterday.. Inspired by a beautiful song by Jason Mraz, Bella Luna. Not one of my favourite songs of his, but wonderful nonetheless. Oh his voice gets me every time..

“Bella luna, my beautiful, beautiful moon
How you swoon me like no other..”

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“You are an illuminating anchor
Of leagues to infinite number
Crashing waves and breaking thunder
Tiding the ebb and flows of hunger
You’re dancing naked there for me
You expose all memory
You make the most of boundary
You’re the ghost of royalty imposing love
You are the queen and king combining everything”

Poncey princes and a rekindled love of The Killers.

Couldn’t sleep a few nights ago, so I listened to all 4 albums of The Killers and conjured up a silly drawing (on Paddy’s whiteboard) of a Prince Charming…

Funnily enough I don’t actually like Prince Charmings much.. they’re too perfect.

Plus, they usually end up being gay. Could be something to do with the rainbow capes, knee-high boots, and frilly socks. Hm.

> > On a side note, it’s been waaaay too long since I listened to The Killers. I listened to nothing else in the summer of 2008, and as a result I seem to have memorised every lyric. Aaah what a beautiful band. I have missed you.

“He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentlemen
Like you imagined when you were young”

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Friction between the sheets..

Mature audience required for this post.

Call me sick-minded, nit-picking, or just plain observant, but I’ve noticed a bit of a lyrical topic trend for our young male singers out there..

Ejaculation issues.

Firstly, we have the obvious; Jon Lajoie with his blunt song entitled “I Come Too Fast”. But then he’s the guy who brought us “Show Me Your Genitals”. I think it’s safe to say he doesn’t shy away from explicitly blunt songs. But it’s all in a sarcastic, comedic manner, so we can just about excuse him. (Hopefully you can just about excuse this post too, for the same reasons.)

More surprisingly however, is the lads who we least expect being a disappointment in the fornication department. “Clockwatching” is an upbeat acoustic feel-good song by Jason Mraz (who just happens to be my lyrical hero and soul-soother), and it seems like an innocent enough song at first. But listening to the lyrics more closely, we realise he’s revealing some rather intimate home-truths.. “I’m off like an airplane, I’m licking your postage stamp again. I’m using my right brain and I’m praying that we don’t crash.. Who knew I’d come so fast? Well so what if a two-pump chump can’t last?”

Sorry.. what??!

And then, even worse perhaps, we hear the likes of Ed Sheeran, our most-loved musical ginger genius, describing his stamina problems in the trouser department. “I came fast, with the way I act, right, I can’t last if I’m smoking on a crack pipe.”

True as this may be – it doesn’t take a genius to know that long-term coke addicts can experience some pretty bad sexual dysfunction (so don’t try drugs at home, kids..) – but is it really necessary for him to explain this to us? I think not Mr. Sheeran!

I can perhaps.. possibly.. maybe understand the young male artists of today doing the complete opposite, and boasting about their multitude of notches on the bedpost, and their outstanding endurance achievements. Interestingly enough and contrary to Ed Sheeran, who unfortunately struggles with his performance when under the influence, it seems Drake likes to think it improves his stamina. “Good weed, white wine, I come alive in the nighttime”. Most likely it was during the daytime that he wrote the song.

But even Pitbull, yummy yummy Pitbull (possibly the most vile-looking artist of today), even Pitbull “makes love” to us “endlessly”. Aren’t we lucky. Excuse me while I vom.

The reason why I can possibly understand and perhaps even sympathise with these men, is because these poor guys have very small members. Very small. And they need to compensate for their very small members. They do this by writing an explicitly sexual song in which they play the lead role, such as Jeremiah who describes how he is “grinding with passion.. been at it for hours” . Later, he modestly informs the lucky girl, “I’m more than able to please you”. It’s highly unlikely that after hours of endless passion you would need to inform your partner that you were able to please them. They probably should have picked up on that bit themselves. So, we can draw the conclusion that either:

a) He’s dating a big-boobed-blonde-haired bimbo who is somehow unable to realise when she’s had a ‘big O’ and needs to be told (no offence intended to the few who fit that description)..

OR

b) He’s so desperate to hide from his very small member and the fact that he cannot please a woman, that he creates a song for the nation filled with a bunch of lies about his non-existent sexual abilities.

These guys are what I describe as Egos. They don’t have a life, a body, a job, a girlfriend, a passion, or a talent. They only have an Ego. (Just remember girls, the club cant handle Flo Rida.)

So.. Let’s think about this.. If these Egos need to boast about their super-human bonking abilities simply because they don’t have any.. Does that mean our guys Ed and Jason actually have these abilities, and therefore are required to modestly ‘pretend’ they don’t??

I certainly hope so.

But perhaps I’m looking too far into this. Perhaps Ed was innocently talking about ‘coming quickly’ into the music industry, and how you simply ‘cannot last for long’ in said music industry if you take drugs. And perhaps Jason really is licking the back of the queen’s head, in a totally non-sexual way, before sending a love-letter to his fully satisfied woman. And this ‘two-pump chump’ that he talks about is simply a foolish guy he knows, working in a bar, who has two beer pumps that don’t last very long. Okay, we’re stretching it a bit far now.

But come on. These are young guys. Probably still young enough to chuckle anytime the word “come” is mentioned, still young enough to shout “YA MUM” at (in)appropriate intervals. They know exactly what they’re saying.

Lads. Thank you for your music. We love hearing your lovely voices.
We don’t, however, want to hear about your sexual stamina (or lack of it), your ability (or disability) to please a woman, or how drugs affect your performance.

Thank you.

Cats have no appreciation for good music.

“You close your eyes, you say goodnight in your own special way. You rest your head and you rest your mind..”

‘Little You and I’, is a song Jason Mraz wrote for his cat.. At the beginning of the track on one of his live albums, he talks about how he used to sit on his bed with his cat and ‘play the musaak’, but if it got too loud kitty would jump down and walk off. So he decided to write this calm, acoustic track to sooth her back to sleep. Aww.

But regarding the musical intolerance, it seems rather typical with cats. Casper can sleep on my bed for hours on end, but as soon as I switch on the radio, or the iPod, or play a single note on the flute, he gets up and walks off.

Perhaps this is just typical feline rudeness. Perhaps their ears aren’t tuned to the correct frequency. Or maybe they just don’t like music. Either way, it seems a pity that our furry friends cannot appreciate beautiful melodies and soothing vocals. They could gain a lot.

Having said this, Casper does seem to like Jason, or he is at least mildly tolerant of his music.. He’ll often stay for a track or two, before finding somewhere else to sleep; somewhere quieter, more convenient, and better suited to his needs.

He’s an adorable bundle of fluff though.

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